CHILDHOOD COMING OF AGE FLASHBACK REDACTED
This section told the story of me and one of my only ‘IRL’ friends turning our lives around. Inspired by nothing, I begin tracking calories and working out during the summer. My friend and I are the nerdiest white kids you’ve ever seen but we listen to hard rap the whole section in the most white-kid suburban cliché of all time. I lose 300-pounds, and then teach myself social skills by reading online forums and articles. My social skills are entirely motivated by the quote, “Fake It Til’ You Make It.” (Chapter 10 is named this. Hint hint. Themes!)
Here is an excerpt:
So, this has been my routine since June: Wake up early, head to my dad’s office, piddle around with some manly lookin’ machines, head home, wait to hear Jack’s blaring of some gangsta beats in the driveway, go to the gym, and repeat.
I have no idea what I’m doing in the gym, and it’s clear that Jack does not either. We amble around obscurely picking things up and putting them down. However, I recently discovered the recumbent bicycle, which is like a lounge chair you pedal. It sounds easy, and it is. After a short hour of playing Angry Birds, I’ll usually have burned 500 calories and beat dozens of levels.
I hadn’t been thinking too much about this whole weight loss thing until one day I happened upon a scale, and when I stepped on it the damned thing read 295 pounds. I couldn’t believe what my eyes had seen. Five pounds lost! I laughed in disbelief. Slowly my brain put the puzzle together. I chose to do a thing … and it changed another thing? I can do that? I can change myself by making different choices? I felt like I’d discovered the secret formula to the human condition.
End excerpt.
***
"Yeah, and could you add a shot of espresso to that?" I'm in a Brooklyn coffee shop preparing to load myself full of caffeine. My meeting with Yang is in two days, and he sent me the entire manuscript to The War on Normal People, asking me to read as much as possible before we meet. I'm excited to have the book, but books usually take me weeks to read. I have to read it all, though; what am I going to do — tell Yang I'm too slow for the most straightforward task he'll ever give me? Of course not, so I've cleared my schedule, and I'm now force-feeding myself the entire book like a third piece of cake I want, but my body can't handle.
From the beginning to the end of The War on Normal People, Yang makes a case that America is crumbling, and automation will cause the end of times — and oh, does he do it well. By the time I finish, I'm electrified and ready to run through my tiny coffee shop's walls. All of the fears I had shared to Shelby just days before all now suddenly feel foolish, marginal, and invariably inconsequential. Is Universal Basic Income legit? Yes — not only will it work, but it will transform society. Does political "change" even matter? Yes — not only does it matter, but it's (obviously) the only vehicle available for structural reform. In a flash, I see my fate: years in politics, and I am ready for it.
On my subway ride into Manhattan for my meeting with Yang, I feel like Tom Hanks in Groundhog day. I'm on the same subway train as the last two times I visited New York City. It feels like a re-run, but each visit continues to be radically different than the previous. There is something about this mystical Asian man that I can't help but keep bumping into. I'm not into supernatural speculation, but it almost feels like it was all meant to be.
"What did you think of the book?" Yang asks as he and I sit on a sunny Manhattan balcony, a far cry from our previous encounters within the Venture for America conference room. Yang, who has officially departed VFA, is dressed even more comfortably than last time. He is now wearing simple slacks and a fuzzy fall button-down. I'm wearing blue jeans and a casual T-shirt. We have both come so far.
"I fucking love it," I say, not holding back. Yang smiles.
"Yes, brother. A lot of people have been enjoying it. I believe the message in there will be shocking for many," he says.
"You know the craziest part about all of this?" I ask rhetorically. "It's that intuitively you'd think UBI would never pass, but I believe it will pass quickly. Everyone wins with this policy. Democrats get transformative welfare, Republicans get individual freedom, and the people get cash."
"Yes! Exactly, man!" Yang shouts with enthusiasm. "We have an opportunity to do something big. I believe once we get our message out there, people will catch on."
"I'm with you. It's hard to imagine that world, but it's all so clear."
Yang and I nod in agreement.
"You know there's something else I want to add," I say. "I've spent years fighting like hell to get a job, studying marketing to get a leg up, and going through the utter ringer simply to find my life's purpose. It's been meaningful, but I'm sick and tired of all of these things that have ultimately felt like side-quests. I've been on this long winding road readying for battle, looking for my cause, and I just wanna say, I'm ready to go to war. This is the cause."
"I love it, brother! You're exactly the person we want and need on this team. We're going to be clawing for every inch. There is no cavalry coming. We are the cavalry. Your relentless attitude and marketing resourcefulness will be indispensable."
I nod aggressively, "Let's do this thing," I say.
"We're going to build you in," Yang says. "Things are still fluid, but you should expect to move to New York City in December. You'll work to galvanize excitement with young people and tech constituents as one of our lead marketers. How's that sound?"
"Sounds like a dream," I say.
As I utter those words, I can feel my words stir up a ruckus with the universe as it wonders: How did that damned kid end up there living his dream? Didn't we stop him years ago?
"Well, Andrew, welcome to the team," Yang says, extending his hand as he stands up.
I stand and meet his hand. We shake. Within the moment of the handshake, I feel a transformation complete. I am transcendent and light as if I were able to skip across the city's skyline. In contrast to a childhood often feeling behind, invisible, and out of place, I feel for a brief moment right where I am supposed to be. In fact, after all of that commotion about working in politics, I don't even feel like a politico. I feel like a revolutionary.
***
CHILDHOOD COMING OF AGE FLASHBACK REDACTED
This section closed out the chapter detailing the final stage of my high school transition. The section opens with a crowd chanting “Frawley.” It is my senior year, I am on the football team and the crowd is trying to get the coach to put me in (lol). I sketch a scene of my new abundant life. I am in shape and confident. I have friends (who get a football stadium to chant my name). I talk about my transformation and how it turns out all you need to do to make people like you is be a real frickin’ person.
***